1996年秋的一天中午，风很大。在去食堂的路上，我看见黄老师像幽灵一样向食堂走，盯着眼前几米远的地方，面无表情，就跑过去逗他开心，大声问： “怎么这么不开心呢？”
One afternoon in the fall of 1996, it was very windy. On the way to the cafeteria, I saw Teacher Huang walking towards the cafeteria like a ghost, staring at a place a few meters ahead with no expression on his face. I ran over to cheer him up and asked loudly: "Why are you so unhappy?"
黄老师回过神儿来后说：“还是为了刘健君的事儿。昨天，那爷儿俩当着我的面就打起来了。老头子走到她的前面，指着她的鼻子说，‘刘健君！你不是我的女儿；卢岩是我的儿子’。老头子又走到我跟前，对我大声说：‘我都算好了，别人都不行，就卢岩行！如果我不能活着看见刘健君和卢岩结婚，我死不瞑目。你就在卢岩身上下功夫吧（注1）！’”
After coming to his senses, Teacher Huang said, "It was all about Eve Liu. Yesterday, the father and daughter started fighting in front of me. The old man walked up to her, pointed at her nose and said, 'Eve Liu! You are not my daughter; Adam Luyan is my son.' The old man walked up to me again and said loudly, 'I have calculated it all. No one else can do it, but Luyan can! If I can't live to see Eve Liu and Adam Luyan get married, I will die with eyes open. You should focus on Adam Luyan (Note 1)!'"
我说：“生气了，说几句过头的话，你何必这么在意！”
这时我们已经进到了食堂里，黄老师说：“不是气话，老头子是认真的。我跟了他几十年了。他说的是真心说，还是随便说说，我四十来岁的人了，还能看不出来！死不瞑目！死不瞑目，你不懂吗！”
I said, "He was angry and said some excessive words. Why do you care so much?" At this time, we had already entered the cafeteria. Teacher Huang shouted at me, "It's not what he said in anger. The old man is serious. I have been with him for decades. Whether he is sincere or just talking casually, I am in my forties. How can I not tell? Die with eyes open! Die with eyes open! Don't you understand!?"
食堂里的数百人惊奇地看着我们俩，他插队排进了买饭人的排队。我像似惹祸了一样，躲到了一边排队的后面，心想，“我好心逗你笑，你反倒吼我！死不瞑目，你吓唬谁呢！你说你是我爸爸就是我爸爸呀！你死不瞑目，我才不在乎呢！”
Hundreds of people in the cafeteria looked at us in amazement. He cut in a line and joined the line of people buying food. I ducked to the back of one side line like I seemed to be in trouble, thinking, “I was kind enough to make you laugh, and you yelled at me instead! Die with eyes open! Who are you scaring! It is only yourself said that you are my father, so you behave as my father! You die with eyes open; I don’t care!”
 
注8.2-1，就这样，我被刘团长从一组男孩儿中被选为了女婿。根据4.5节《真人医学实验的新闻 https://web.6parkbbs.com/index.php?app=forum&act=view&tid=4337696》，实验中有多个男孩儿。女子组的集中训练营是在中国医科大学的巴甫洛夫楼（参见7.2《刘建君 https://web.6parkbbs.com/index.php?app=forum&bbsid=2031&act=view&tid=4682053》），那里是国际医学交流中心。
Note 8.2-1, just like that, I was chosen by Team Leader Liu from a group of boys to be his son-in-law. According to Section 4.5 "News of Real-Life Medical Experiments", there were multiple boys in the experiment. The concentrated training camp for the girl's group was in the Pavlov Building of China Medical University (see 7.2 "Eve Liu"), which is the International Medical Exchange Center.
刘团长说，死不瞑目这个诅咒，狠毒至极（参见2.4节《桃花劫的讲解 https://web.6parkbbs.com/index.php?app=forum&act=view&tid=4336448》）。下这个诅咒就是一辈子不断地对被诅咒的人做好事，而只求他一件事。被诅咒的人知道或者后来知道了下咒人的意愿，有能力办却没有兑现。等下咒人一死，被诅咒的人就受不了了，死不了也活不长。刘团长说，这个诅咒就没有其他的解法，只有顺解，就是按照下咒人的意思去做。
Troupe Leader Liu said that the curse of Die with Eyes Open is extremely vicious (see Section 2.4 "Explanation of Peach Blossom Catastrophe"). Casting this curse means that you do good things to the cursed person for your whole life, and only ask him for one thing. The cursed person knows or later knows the wish of the person who cast the curse can do it but does not fulfill it. Once the curser dies, the cursed person will not be able to bear it and will not live long either. Troupe Leader Liu said that there is no other way to solve this curse, only to follow the wish of the person who cast the curse.
插图8.2-3是古墨西哥的上帝三人组：左翼蜂鸟，金童墨西哥（又名特拉洛克），和玉女翠玉女。图中太阳神左翼蜂鸟的大眼睛代表上帝之眼（古墨西哥人作太阳），是由五个眼睛（参见第18章 https://web.6parkbbs.com/index.php?app=forum&act=view&bbsid=2176&tid=4310450）。他的大耳朵代表天耳通（亦作千里耳）。
Illustration 8.2-3 shows the trinity of God of ancient Mexico: Huitzilopochtli, Gold Boy Mexico (also known as Tlaloc), and the Jade Girl Chalchiuhtlicue. The big eyes of the Sun God Huitzilopochtli in the picture represent the Eye of God (ancient Mexicans called it Sun), which is composed of five eyes (see Chapter 18). His big ears represent the Celestial Ear (also known as Thousand-mile Ear).
（2）
那年，我父母在沈阳北陵东面买了房子，那个小开发区已经竣工了。一天，我在进小区的路上看见了几个民工似的人，站在那里唠嗑，警觉了起来。我走过两个人的旁边，他们说 “死不瞑目”。 当我走近另两个人，他们说 “无解”。我不经意地想着 “死不瞑目，无解” ，想不出个所以然。但此时我对此说法不感觉陌生。
That year, my parents bought a house east of Beiling in Shenyang, and the small development zone had been completed. One day, on the way into the community, I saw a few people who looked like migrant workers standing there chatting, I became alert. I walked past two people, and they said, “die with eyes open”. When I approached the other two, they said "no solution". I thought about "die with eyes open, no solution" inadvertently, but I couldn't figure it out. But currently, I didn't feel unfamiliar with this statement.
注8.3-2，前文关于死不瞑目诅咒的说法是在我三岁之前听崔凤龙姨父讲的（参见2.4节《桃花劫的讲解》）。现代心理学说，三岁及以前的记忆，正常的成年人是回忆不出来的，但那些记忆仍然存在于无意识里，而且发挥着作用。那记忆是怎样发挥作用的？例如本段文字中的描述，我对死不瞑目诅咒不感觉陌生。直到2003年，我在一次痛哭之后，突然意识到了此诅咒的下法是一辈子对那人做好事，却只求那人办一件事；而且此狠毒至极的诅咒是无解的。
Note 8.3-2, the above statement about the curse of Die with Eyes Open was told by Uncle Dragon before I was three years old (see Section 2.4 "Explanation of Peach Blossom Catastrophe"). Modern psychology says that normal adults cannot recall memories of three years old and before, but those memories still exist in the unconscious and play a role. How do that memories play a role? For example, the description in this paragraph, I am not unfamiliar with the curse of Die with Eyes Open. It was not until 2003, after crying bitterly, that I suddenly realized that the way to cast the curse is to do good things to that person for a lifetime, but only ask that person to do one thing; and there is no solution to this extremely vicious curse.
（3）
一天，黄老师找我谈话：“在美国，刘健君和男朋友分手了。她说人家不诚实。我们就劝她在以前处过的男朋友当中选一个。她同意了。我们就把她以前处过的男朋友都问了一遍。我也问过你，你告诉我你没有女朋友。然后我们把这些人当中没有女朋友的列了一个名单让刘健君选。她说：“就选卢岩吧。”
One day, Teacher Huang talked to me, "In the United States, Eve Liu broke up with her boyfriend. She said that he was dishonest. We persuaded her to choose one of her previous boyfriends. She agreed. We asked all her previous boyfriends. I also asked you, and you told me that you don't have a girlfriend. Then we made a list of those who didn't have girlfriends and asked Eve Liu to choose. She said, "Just pick Luyan.”
我问：“他在美国，我在中国，怎么谈？”
黄老师说：“这个我们研究了。你们可以通过通信，电话，网络聊天什么的来谈。”
I asked: "He is in the United States, and I am in China, how can we talk?"
Teacher Huang said: "We have studied this. You can talk through correspondence, phone calls, online chats, etc."
我想不出来那是怎么谈恋爱，就说：“那谈和没谈有区别吗? 而且将来她很可能愿意留在美国。” 我表示不愿意做劳而无功的事。
I couldn't figure out how that was a relationship, so I said, "Is there any difference between being in a relationship and not being in a relationship? And she might be willing to stay in the United States in the future." I said I didn't want to do anything that would be futile.
（4）
一九九六年初冬的一天，我看见黄老师一个人默默地站在走廊尽头的窗边，向窗外看。我走过去也向窗外看了看，故意逗笑，把他拉得离窗远一些，说： “你现在的表情和行为可真吓人！” 他面无表情，没出声。我问：“刘健君快毕业了吧？” （注，这时我的身心状态很不好，忘记了今昔是何年。）
One day in early winter of 1996, I saw Teacher Huang standing alone by the window at the end of the corridor, looking out. I walked over and looked out the window, deliberately making him laugh, and pulled him away from the window, saying, "Your expression and behavior are really scary now!" He had no expression on his face and didn't say anything. I asked, "Is Eve Liu about to graduate?" (Note: At this time, my physical and mental state was very bad, and I forgot what year it was.)
黄老师说：“哪有那么快，至少还得一年多。但是，这博士她还没读完呢，又喜欢上了一个博士后的资历项目。”
我说：“读书不就是为了工作么！读个博士证明一下能力就行了呗！还能读到天上去。”
Teacher Huang said: "It won't be that fast, it will take at least a year. But she hasn't finished her PhD yet, and she's interested in a postdoctoral qualification program."
I said: "Isn't studying for work? Just get a PhD to prove her ability! She can't study to heaven."
黄老师说：“谁说不是呢！人家就喜欢。”
我说：“她读书也不耽误结婚，喜欢读就读呗！”
Teacher Huang said: "Who says it's not true? She just likes it."
I said: "It won't hinder her from getting married if she studies. If she likes to study, then she can study!"
黄老师说：“她爸有个想法，不过这事儿得先跟你说，还没跟她说。”
我问：“什么想法？”
Teacher Huang said: "Her father has an idea, but he has to tell you first. He hasn't told her yet."
I asked: "What idea?"
黄老师说：“刘健君可以有陪读，她爸说如果你愿意，可以让你以她男朋友的身份申请签证去美国。”
我问：“我们俩没交往过多长时间，她能同意吗？”
Teacher Huang said: "Eve Liu can have a companion. Her father said that if you are willing, you can apply for a visa to the United States as her boyfriend."
I asked: "We haven't been dating for a long time. Will she agree?"
黄老师说：“她能不能同意我们还不知道。这是她爸的主意。她爸让她办手续，她能不办吗？”
我想，“她读博士，我打工学英语，考研究生， GRE我还真学不了，考不上。她看我不顺眼，那我可难受了！打几架之后回来了。我们家哪有那个闲钱让我去美国玩儿一圈。” 我说：“我连她长得什么样儿，都记不清了。再说，我现在还真没想出国。”
Teacher Huang said, "We don't know whether she will agree or not. This is her father's idea. Her father asked her to go through the formalities, how could she not do it?"
I thought, "She is studying for a doctorate, I am working to learn English and take the postgraduate entrance examination. I really can't study for the GRE and can't pass the examination. She doesn't like me, so I feel bad! After a few fights, I came back. How can our family have the spare money for me to travel around the United States?" I said, "I can't even remember what she looks like. Besides, I really don't want to go abroad now."
黄老师说：“若不然，我们给你找几张她以前的相片，给你看看。”
我说：“不用吧！她在美国不方便找男朋友，为什么不休学一年回国，等结婚了再去继续读博士。”
Teacher Huang said, "If not, we can find some old photos of her and show them to you."
I said, "No need! It's not convenient for her to find a boyfriend in the United States. Why doesn't she take a year off and return to China, and then continue her doctoral studies after getting married."
黄老师的脸色立刻变了，厉声说道：“事业更重要！”
我愣了一下说：“有道理！那就慢慢地找吧。我还有点事儿，先走了。” 我转身忿忿地离开了。
Teacher Huang's face immediately changed, and he said sternly, “Career is more important!”
I froze for a moment and said, “Makes sense! Then take your time to find it. I still have some things to do, so I'll leave first.” I turned around and left angrily.
（5）
又一次我和黄老师在一起说话。我不同意和刘健君交往。他的态度变了，说：“我们已经得出结论了。刘健君靠她自己找不到丈夫。我们已经决定了，你就是她的丈夫。”
Once again, I was talking with Teacher Huang. I didn't agree to go out with Eve Liu. His attitude changed and he said, “We've concluded. Eve Liu can't find a husband on her own. We've decided that you are her husband.”
我感觉又诧异又气愤，说：“她和我的差异本来就很大。现在她在美国，将来变成什么样的人，没人知道。我跟她异地相处，成婚的机率可不大。我都快三十岁的人了，可不做这种没谱的事儿。”
Feeling surprised and angry, I said, "She and I are very different. Now she is in the United States, and no one knows what kind of person she will become in the future. The chances of us getting married are slim as we live in a long-distance relationship. I am almost 30 years old, and I don't want to do such a foolish thing."
黄老师眼露凶光（注，这说明他为此创伤了），说：“做备用的行不行？”
我也气急了，说道：“我早就是备用的！你以为我不知道，还要告诉我！” 我转身回房间了，气愤了一会儿，就忘了。
Teacher Huang's eyes flashed with anger (note, this shows that he was traumatized by this) and he said, "How about a backup?"
I was also furious and said, "I have been a backup for a long time! You think I don't know, and you still need to tell me!" I turned around and went back to my room. I was angry for a while, and then I forgot about it.
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坛主:Adam_Luyan于2024_09_29 8:07:25编辑