一九九八年春，在我的论文答辩会上，评委们吵起来了，还有一个教过我的女教授哭了。接着他们讨论我的论文是不是抄来的。几个教过我的说，没见过。院长说：“这还得问导师！” 
In the spring of 1998, at my dissertation defense, the judges got into a fight and a female professor who had taught me cried. Then they discussed whether my thesis had been copied. Several of those who had taught me said they had never seen it. The dean said: "The thing, we have to ask his advisor!”
我的导师说：“他原来的底稿有一寸多厚，一百来个新公式。我告诉他，挑有把握的说，简练些，用不着写那么多。他挑了十来个公式，论文就变成这样了。”
My advisor said: "His original draft was over an inch thick, with a hundred or so new formulas. I told him to pick the ones he was sure of, to be concise, not to write so many. He picked about ten formulas, and the paper turned out like this."
院长说：“啊！你帮着改的。”
我导师转过身了：“我干那个干嘛！我就改了些错别字。”
院长笑咧咧地说：“还有错别字！”
The dean said: "Ah! You helped change it."
My advisor turned around: "What did I do that for! I just corrected some typos."
The dean grinned and said: "And typos!"
我导师和院长吵起来了，砸桌子后，走了。一个老师告诉我，快去拽他回来！答辩会，导师不能缺席。我出去拽他，他说，他们太欺负人了。我说，你就再坐会儿，若不然，我的答辩不就得等下次了。他对我说，“哪儿有不通过的！” 说着，他蹦起来朝屋里喊，“他的博士生啥样啊！” 就离开了。
My advisor and the dean got into an argument, slammed the desk, and left. A teacher told me to go drag him back! The advisor can't be absent at a defense meeting. I went out to drag him, but he said, "They're being bullies. I said, "Just sit down for a little while longer, or else my defense will have to wait until next time. He said to me, "There's no such thing as not passing!" With that, he jumped up and yelled into the room, "What about PhD students theirs!" And he left.
我回到答辩会，评委还有几个人提问。一个教过我的教授对我说：“你说得够多了！其它的问题你就回答：没考虑过。”
院长说：“算了，这个就先放下吧！照这样超时诤论下去，咱这答辩工作两个星期也搞不完。叫下一个上台！”
I came back to the defense meeting and there were a few more questions from the judges. One of the professors who had taught me said to me, "You've said enough! For the rest of the questions, you just answer haven't thought about it."
The dean said: "Forget it, let's drop this one! If we go on like this, we won't be able to finish the defense in two weeks. Call the next one to the stage!"
（2）
一天，导师黄本和找我谈话，说他可以推荐我去一个煤碳研究所，说那儿没什么出息，但一辈子稳定。随后他说：“他们评你的论文为A，你没什么感觉，但这A在许多研究生中争得厉害。咱院这届的毕业生中出来了几个好的。可能你也听说了，有几个人的硕士论文中有多篇在国内外的期刊发表了。评委给了你个A，却给他们B，你知道为什么吗？”
One day, my advisor Huang came to talk to me and said that he could recommend me to go to a coal research institute. He said that there was no future there, but that it would be stable for the rest of my life. Then he said: "They rated your paper as an A. You don't feel much about it, but this A is very competitive among many graduate students. There are several good graduates in our school this year. Maybe you have heard of it, there are several people whose master's thesis has been published in domestic and foreign journals. The judges gave you an A, but they gave them a B. Do you know why?"
我表示不知道，没想过。
导师说：“这我知道！并不是你的论文有多好，这是他们想招你读他们的博士。”
我回答：“我是分院专科毕业的，各方面的基础真的很差。”
I stated that I didn't know and hadn't thought about it.
My advisor said: "I know this! It's not that your dissertation is so good, it's that they want to recruit you for their PhD."
I replied: "I'm a college graduate and have a really poor foundation in all areas."
导师说：“这，他们都知道，已经考虑了你的背景。他们给你A，是开会举手表决，一致通过的，都对你有信心。这里面有个原因：科研人员出成果与否，与性格有关。他们认为你有搞科研的性格特质。你有这性格，如果肯努力用功，你成功的几率比他们那些好学生高两、三倍。”
My advisor said: "That, and they all know it and have considered your background. They gave you an A. It was a vote by show of hands at a meeting, and it was unanimous, and they all have confidence in you. There's a reason for this: whether a researcher produces results or not is related to personality. They think you have the character traits to do research. You have this character, if you are willing to work hard, your chances of success are two or three times higher than their good students."
我问：“我的性格有什么特别的？”
导师说：“我也不太明白，说不好；不过，这一点你不用怀疑。你知道，咱院博士的名声还可以，拿得出手。”
I asked: "What's so special about my personality?"
My mentor said: "I don't quite understand, I can't say; however, you don't have to doubt this. You know, the reputation of the PhD of our school is not bad to take."
我回答：“我听说了。他们是中国唯一的岩石力学博士后流动站，从五十年代就是世界一流的了。据说，咱院的博士在全世界都受欢迎。就因为他们，汉语已经成为了这个行业的第二语言。”
I replied: "I've heard about it. They are the only post-doctoral mobile station for rock mechanics in China and have been world-class since the 1950s. It is said that the doctors from our institute are popular all over the world. Just because of them, Chinese has become the second language of this profession."
导师说：“哪有那么好！就是还行。另外，博士还是某些人观念中一辈子的荣誉。”
我回答：“博士是好听。如果我读博士，都得从头开始学，人家读两、三年，我得读五、六年。”
My advisor said: "It's not that good! It's just okay. Besides, a PhD is still a lifetime honor in some people's conception."
I replied: "A PhD is nice to hear. If I were to do a PhD, I'd have to learn it all from scratch; people do it for two or three years, I'd have to do it for five or six."
(3 我的特质 My Traits)
导师说：“你还这么想！不过，五、六年拿个博士也挺好！值得！”
我说：“能成功当然好。如果我失败了呢！我听说了，他们搞的那套理论，全世界就三百多个人懂。如果我整不明白，这辈子就毁了。”
My advisor said: "You still think so! But it's good to get a PhD in five or six years! It's worth it!"
I said: "Of course it's good to succeed. What if I fail! I've heard that the theory they're working on is understood by only 300 people in the world. If I don't understand it, my life will be ruined."
导师说：“没你想的那么难！如果整不明白，你那硕士论文改改，就能博士毕业了；然后，到哪个学校当个老师，跟我一样。他们那东西，我就不懂。”
我说：“黄老师你可能不知道，学习中，如果我搞不懂，感觉难受，总是放不下，吃不好，睡不着。如果我整不明白，那我这辈子就毁了。读博士风险太大了，我不读。”
My advisor said: "It's not as hard as you think! If you don't understand it, you can just change your master's thesis and graduate with a doctorate; then, you can become a teacher in any school, just like me. I don't understand their stuff."
I said: "Mr. Huang, you may not know, in the study, if I can not understand, I feel difficult, always can not let go, can not eat well, can not sleep. If I can't understand, my life will be ruined. Reading a doctorate is too risky, I do not read."
导师说：“我说了，你可以考虑混个博士。你要混，对于你来说，博士不难！”
我说：“我琢磨过这事，也想过为什么我做事总是那么难？我发现，我什么问题都放不下，混，我是学不会了，就只能找个不用脑的行业。我混了个硕士，是为了不让别人瞧不起我；如果我再混个博士，连我自己都瞧不起我自己了。”
My advisor said: "I said, you can consider playingly get a doctorate. For you, deceitfully getting a PhD is not hard!"
I said: "I've mulled over this and wondered why it's always so hard for me to do things. I realized that I can't let go of any problems! Fooling around is a hard thing for me to learn. So, I'll just find an industry that doesn't use much brain. I deceivingly get a master's degree, so that I wouldn't let others look down on me. If I fool around again to get PhD, even I myself would look down on myself."
导师感叹道：“真他妈地！”
我惊讶地问：“怎么了？”
My advisor exclaimed: "Holy shit!"
Surprised, I asked: "What's wrong?"
导师说：“他们就是跟我这么说的，如果你同意读博士，就不会混。我就不信！”
我惊讶了，问：“混的人多了！他们以前都没见过我，就在答辩会上看见我一次，他们都看出来了！”
My advisor said: "That's what they told me, that if you agree to do a PhD, you won't be fooling around, I just didn't believe it!"
I was surprised and asked: "There are a lot of people who are fooling around! They've never even seen me before, saw me just once at the defense meeting, said they that I am not a fooling around person!?”
导师说：“对！他们大部分人就只在答辩会上看见了你那一次，就看出来了，说你就是不会混的性格。看来我是真不行，我都认识你五、六年了，什么也没看出来！”
My advisor said: "Right! Most of them just saw you that one time at the defense meeting, and they saw it and said you just don't have the personality to fool. It seems I'm no good, I've known you for five or six years and I didn't see anything!"
注8.10-3，教授们说的，我适合搞科研的特质是什么？2014年，我写完回忆录后，思考了这问题很久，认为这特质是 “无知而不舍，无不知而舍”。
Annotation 8.10-3, What is the special traits of a scientist they said? In 2014, after I wrote my memoirs, I thought about this question for a long time, and I think that this trait is "no knowing is not abandoned, no unknowing is abandoned”.
（4）
一天，李国辉站到了寝室的中央，颇有感慨地说：“我要讲讲什么是一俊遮百丑。我师母亲自给卢岩平反，让我向咱院的各个寝室传达。” 他师母是我们院长夫人，资源土木工程学院的秘书，负责管理我们研究生。
One day, Li Guohui stood up in the center of the dormitory and said rather emotionally: "Today, I'm going to talk about what is “one handsomeness covers up a hundred uglies”. My teacher mother personally vindicated Luyan and asked me to convey it to all the dormitories in our institution." His teacher's mother is our dean's wife, the secretary of the institute of Resource Civil Engineering, responsible for managing our graduate students.
他说：“昨天，在咱院的组织工作会上，我师母郑重宣布：‘以前，我老说卢岩是咱院的浪荡公子。结果，人家的论文在咱院的论文评定委员会上，三十三位评委意见一至，全都给评优。人家是下了真功夫的，这肯定假不了。我号招咱全院的学生，以卢岩为楷模，端正态度，努力地真心做学问。以后，谁也不许再叫他浪荡公子了。’”
Li said: "Yesterday, at the organization meeting of our institute, my teacher mother solemnly announced: 'In the past, I always said that Luyan was the prodigal son of our institute. As a result, his thesis was evaluated by the thesis evaluation committee of our academy, and all the thirty-three evaluators were unanimous in their opinions, and all of them gave him an excellent grade. He has put in real effort, it's not fake. I call on all the students at this institute to take Luyan as a model, to correct their attitude, and to work hard and sincerely on their studies. From now on, no one can call him a prodigal son anymore.'"
（5）
一天，我在食堂遇见了住八舍时的室友，那个来自国务院的警察，他向我道喜。我问他我有什么喜事？连他都知道了。他说：“我都听说了，你的毕业论文写得不错，受到了赞赏。” 
我没感觉，回答：“这点儿事算什么！”
One day in the cafeteria, I met my roommate from when I lived in the 8th Dormitory, the State Council Policeman, he congratulated me. I asked him what I was happy about. Even he knew. He said, "I've heard all about it, your thesis was well written and appreciated." 
I didn't feel it and replied: "That's nothing!"
他说：“怎么是这点儿事呢！研究生不就是这么回事吗！得到了那帮人的赞赏，一辈子想起来都是高兴的事。人家赐福给你了。”
我愣住了，明白之后说：“有道理，要不是听你说了，我没注意到。”
He said: "It's not a big deal! Isn't that what graduate school being all about! Being appreciated by that group of people is a joy to think about for the rest of your life. They've blessed you."
I froze, and when I realized it, I said: "That makes sense, I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't heard you say it."
他说：“你在和平房产局干得挺好；在东北大学，你又提前一年毕业，还整成这样！你确实有与众不同之处，我就是瞪着眼睛看不见你是咋整的？”
He said: "You did a very good job at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau; at Northeastern University, you graduated a year early, and you still managed to get excellent mark! You are indeed different. I just stared at you but couldn't see how you did it!?”
我迷惑地回答：“我也不知道，我真的什么都不知道！你怎么样？什么时候答辩？”
他回答：“我还比你早来几个月呢！到现在，他们还不让我准备博士论文。答辩，还没日程。”
I answered in confusion: "I don't know either, I really don't know anything! How are you? When will you defend?"
He replied: "I came here a few months before you! Until now, they haven't allowed me to prepare a doctoral thesis. There is no schedule for the defense."
注5，在4.10 《遗嘱》中，刘团长对我做出了承诺，“只要我能上大学，就会有与众不同的前途”。所以他在世时，我的生活中总有好运。
Annotation 5, in section 4.10 The Will, Troupe Leader Liu made a promise to me, "As long as I can go to college, I will have a brilliant future". So, when he was alive, I always had good fortune in my life.
（6 命运 Fate）
一天，我在机电管遇到了黄老师（我和刘健君的介绍人）。他郑重地对我说：在我和刘健君婚姻的事情上，他失败了，但还是很感谢我；以后我有事去求他，他一定会尽力帮助。随后，我茫然地想了几次国务院警察说过的，刘团长一定会成功，什么事一定会成功？他怎么失败了呢？他们对我做了什么？
One day, I met Teacher Huang (the introducer of me and Eve Liu) in the Electrical and Mechanical Engineering Building. He solemnly said to me: He failed in my marriage to Eve Liu, but he was still very grateful to me; if I ask him for anything in the future, he will try his best to help. Afterwards, I thought blankly several times about what the State Council Police said: Troupe Leader Liu will succeed. What has he done? How did he fail? 
 
注6，在本书的第1章，刘团长创伤了我，给我留下了个精神病潜伏症。在7.3节《初次见面》，我再次被刘健君创伤。在8.4节《大惊失色》，我受到了严重的惊吓，以至于在8.7节《出故事的人》中，我有了精神病发病的迹象。所以，此时的五年或十年后， 我的精神病发育成熟了，我就会成为精神病人，就会依据10.6节《治疗心理疾病的原则》来生活。刘团长就这样决定了我的命运。
Annotation 6, in Chapter 1 of this book, Troupe Leader Liu traumatized me and left me with a latent mental disorder. In section 7.3, "Blind Date", I was again traumatized by Eve Liu. In section 8.4, "I was Shocked” so badly, so that, in section 8.7 "The Person Who Produces Stories", I showed signs of psychosis. So, five or ten years from now, when my mental illness has matured, I will become a mental patient and I will live according to Section 10.6 "Principles of Treatment of Mental Illness". This is how Troupe Leader Liu decided my fate.

换个说法，精神病是异熟果（参见11.6.1《异熟果》），从此五年或十年之后，当我的精神病的异熟果成熟后，就会落入我自己的筐里（即我疯了）（如图8.10）。图中的人是墨西哥（亦作特拉洛克）；七百年前，舍利王就是这样决定了墨西哥的命运（参见第18章）。
In other words,, mental illness is Mutant Fruit (cf. 11.6.1 Mutant Fruit), and henceforth, five or ten years later, when the Mutant Fruit of my mental illness has ripened, it falls into my own basket (i.e., I am mad) (see Fig. 8.10). The person in the picture is Mexico (also known as Tlaloc); this is how Huitzilopochtli decided the fate of Mexico 700 years ago (cf. Chapter 18).
↪️返回第八章的目录↪️Return to Contents of Chapter 8.
坛主:Adam_Luyan于2024_04_05 0:55:31编辑

坛主:Adam_Luyan于2024_04_07 0:35:35编辑