2010年4月的一天，我开车在路上，忽然发现刹车不工作，踩到底了才有一点儿作用。我小心翼翼地把车开到了我习惯去的汽车维修店，去换机油。我把车钥匙交给他们时，却把刹车失灵的事忘记了。 
One day in April 2010, I was driving on the road, suddenly noticed that the brakes were not working, and it only had a little effect when I stepped to the end. I carefully drove the car to the auto repair shop I used to go to change the oil. When I handed them the car key, I forgot about the brake failure.
车维修完了，我去取钥匙时，本来那个结账的服务员是个欧洲的白人小姑娘，她突然被召唤进去了，换了个说汉语的华裔人来为我结账。他拿着我的钥匙，四处看了看，伸头到我脸的附近，用汉语小声说： “卢先生，你的车闸我们已经替你紧过了，你的车现在安全了。” 我答应着，没在意，但当我走到门口时，全身出汗了。人人都知道：车闸出事有两种可能的原因，一是来自事故，二是人为的。我的车近几个月都没事故，是有人在故意害我！
When I went to get the keys after the car was repaired, the waiter who was originally checking out was a little white girl from Europe, but she was suddenly summoned in and replaced with a Chinese-speaking Chinese to check out for me. He took my key, looked around, reached near my face, and whispered in Chinese: “Mr. Luyan, we have tightened your brakes for you, and your car is safe now.” I answered without attention, but when I walked to the door, I was sweating all over. Everyone knows that there are two possible reasons for a brake accident, one is from an accident and the other is man-made. My car hasn't had an accident in recent months, someone is deliberately harming me!
在回家的路上，我一直想谁在害我？一、两个小时内，几次出汗。随后，我的生活和工作中就出现了奇奇怪怪的事（注1）。
On the way home, I kept thinking who was harming me? Sweating several times in one or two hours. Then strange things happened in my life and work (Annotation 1).
注9.7-1，我受到了严重的惊吓，身心处于高度的恐惧和怀疑之中；肾上腺激素等分泌维持着这种身心状态，多星期时间不能被降下来，致使我的心理容纳空间变小了，思想多走入极端。
Annotation 9.7-1, I was severely frightened, physically, and mentally in a high state of fear and doubt; adrenal hormones etc. secretions maintained this bodily and mentally drowsy state, could not be lowered for weeks, resulting in a smaller space for my mental behaviors, thinks were rampaging extremely.
 
2 美国不欢迎我 I'm not Welcome in America.
2001年移民加拿大后，一次我回国乘飞机经由美国。美国警察来接我，伴随我上了另一架飞机。回加拿大时在芝加哥转机，我被扣留在了机场，等待审查结果。等了十几个小时之后，一个警察来跟我说： “老规矩，你可能都知道了！限你48小时之内离开美国。你在美国期间，我会一直陪着你；吃饭、睡觉、上厕所、去商店，去公园，我都陪着你。”
After immigrating to Canada in 2001, I returned home and flew through the United States. The American police came to pick me up and accompanied me to another plane. Transiting in Chicago on my way back to Canada, I was detained at the airport awaiting the results of the review. After waiting for more than a dozen hours, a policeman came to me and said, "You probably know the old rules! You are allowed to leave the U.S. within 48 hours. I will always be with you while you are in the United States; Eat, sleep, go to the toilet, go to the store, go to the park, I will accompany you.”
我对此很生气。美国警察说：“这你有什么生气的！美国和中国的关系不是那么友好；美国不欢迎你这种人！你来这儿干什么？”
我回答：“什么也不干，就是转机、路过！若不是你们把我扣留下来，这时候，我已经在加拿大自己的家里了！”
I was very angry about this. The American police said: "Why are you angry? The relationship between the United States and China is not so friendly; the United States does not welcome people like you! What are you doing here?"
I replied: "Nothing, just transiting, passing by! If you hadn't detained me, I would have been in my own home in Canada by now!"
他说：“我在计算机屏幕上都看到了，十几个组织调查了你十几个小时。你来这里没事！？我才不信呢！当然，你不可能告诉我！我只是按照计算机屏幕告诉我的，例行公事，做我的工作。”
He said, "I saw it all on the computer screen. More than a dozen organizations have been investigating you for more than a dozen hours. You are fine coming here!? I don't believe it! Of course, you can't tell me! I just follow what the computer screen tells me, routine, do my job."
注9.7-2，从2001年到2010年，美国中央情报局对我的关注是引发我觉思失调症的一个因素。我怎么被列入了美国的不欢迎人物名单？直到2014年，我写完回忆录才明白。1996年，一次我和室友，那个来自国务院的警察（参见第7章《东北大学》）谈话时，他说： “他们（去砸美国领事馆的同学）进没进美国的那个名单，我不知道，但你是已经进去了。对不起！都是因为我。我这种人一出北京，就会被他们盯得死死的。我来东北大学读博士，碰巧和你住一个寝室一年多。他们就不这么认为；他们认为我和你有什么勾搭，所以你就被列进了美国的那个名单。”
Note 9.7-2, from 2001 to 2010, the CIA’s attention to me was a factor in triggering my schizophrenia. How was I included in the list of unwelcome persons in the United States? I didn’t understand it until I finished writing my memoirs in 2014. In 1996, when I was talking to my roommate, the policeman from the State Council (see Chapter 7 "Northeastern University"), he said: "I don’t know whether they (the students who went to smash the US consulate) are on the US list, but you are already on it. I’m sorry! It’s all because of me. People like me will be closely watched by them once we leave Beijing. I came to Northeastern University to study for a doctorate and happened to live in the same dormitory with you for more than a year. They don’t think so; they think I have something in common with you, so you were included in the US list."
那怎么还10多个部门一起研究我呢？与我这个国务院警察室友对应的美国国家部门就是美国电影中的那种“X-file” 警察。他们是直接受美国白宫领导的秘密警察，涉及的部门多。
Why are there more than 10 parties investigating me? The US national department corresponding to my State Council police roommate is the "X-file" police in American movies. They are secret agency directly under the leadership of the White House, they involve many departments.
3 事例二 Case 2
例如，一次，加拿大联邦警察打电话问我：“你在XXX时间，去了YYY地方；你到那里干什么？”
我回答：“那时我在多伦多，那段时间，我就没离开过多伦多。你可以打电话去我工作的DAVROC 询问一下；那时我在上班啊！”
For example, once, the Canadian federal police called me and asked, "You went to YYY place at XXX time; what were you doing there?" 
I answered, "I was in Toronto at that time, and I never left Toronto during that period. You can call DAVROC where I work to ask; I was at work at that time!"
加拿大警察说：“美国那帮人（注3）在调查你，要看你的档案。这件事，我们有困难。不过，我们可以帮你找人权律师，起诉他们。”
我回答：“你们有困难，就让他们看吧！我没钱，负担不起雇用律师的费用。”
The Canadian police said: "Those American people (Note 2) are investigating you and want to see your file. We have difficulty with this matter. However, we can help you find a human rights lawyer to sue them."
I replied: "If you have difficulties, let them see it! I have no money and cannot afford to hire a lawyer."
事后，我想加拿大警察怎么说 “那帮美国人” （注3）！他们是谁！？
加拿大联邦警察多次因为 “美国那帮人” （注3） 打电话给我；我不知道为什么，谁在监视我。他们的调查进入了我的信誉记录；我就麻烦了，却无可奈何。
Afterwards, I wondered what the Canadian police said about "those Americans" (Note 2)! Who are they!?
The Canadian federal police called me many times because of "those Americans" (Note 2); I didn't know why or who was watching me. Their investigation entered my credit record; I was in trouble, but there was nothing I could do.
注9.7-3，加拿大联邦警察所说的 “那帮美国人”是什么人？请允许我先解释我的那个国务院警察室友是什么人？一次，他对我说：“你这种人，如果我不告诉你，你一辈子不会知道我是什么人。我是国务院审查公安部报告的文职人员。我们这种人很多，国务院采用公司制管理，用了个不相关的公司名。我们本质上是国务院的员工，但国务院不准我们随便使用国务院的名头。” 类似的，加拿大警察所说的 “那帮美国人”就是用了假名的美国白宫的工作人员。如果加拿大警察告诉了我他们的公司名，反倒是欺骗了我。
Note 9.7-3, who are “those Americans” mentioned by the Canadian federal police? Please allow me to first explain who my State Council police roommate is. Once, he said to me: "If I don't tell you, you will never know who I am. I am a paper-work-checking worker of State Council who reviews reports from the Ministry of Public Security. There are many people like us. The State Council adopts a corporate management system and uses an unrelated company name. We are essentially employees of State Council, but the State Council does not allow us to use the name of the State Council casually." Similarly, the "Those Americans" mentioned by the Canadian police are the staff of White House who used pseudonyms. If the Canadian police told me the name of their company, they would have deceived me.
4 事例三Case 3
2010年4月，我去RBC银行申请买房贷款。银行的贷款经纪人看了我的信誉记录后，忽然说： “哎呀！你是国际人物（注3），我们不知道你是谁，不和你这种人做生意！”
我立刻懵了：“什么国际人物！？我的信誉记录里哪条表明了：我是国际人物？”
In April 2010, I went to RBC Bank to apply for a mortgage. After looking at my credit record, the bank's loan broker suddenly said: "Oh! You are an international figure (Note 3), we don't know who you are, don't do business with people like you!"
I was immediately confused: "What international figure!? Which line in my credit record shows that I am an international figure?"
从2002年起，我一直都有警察监视我的困惑；直至2014年写完回忆录，明白了此中的缘由。
Since 2002, I have been confused by the police monitoring me; until I finished writing my memoirs in 2014, I understood the reason.
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坛主:Adam_Luyan于2024_10_13 16:49:02编辑