卢岩的回忆录，28-40岁，1998-2010年；Luyan’s Memoirs, 28-40 years old, 1998-2010
第9章 青中年 Middle Age： 9.1 拓疆房地产公司 TJ Real Estate Ltd； 9.2 岩土顾问公司 Soil Engineers Ltd； 9.3 黑社会帮我打架 Black Society Helps Me Fight； 9.4 我抑郁了 I'm Depressed； 9.5 梭罗给我改性格 Sal Changes my Personality； 9.6 迷惑 Muddles； 9.7 社会环境 Social Environment； 9.8 刹车失灵 Brake Failure； 9.9 把工程作坏 Job Rip； 9.10 觉思失调 Schizophrenia
1998年4月，我东北大学硕士毕业了，也失业了。我担心刘团长在背后坏我，到新的工作单位后找不到女朋友，就不愿意去国家机关，学校等国营的企事业单位，认为在私人企业他很难使坏。我喜欢搞房地产，可我是色盲，不愿意练习计算机绘图，使我找工作遇到了困难。我在家里，平时上个英语口语学习班，也参加了GRE的学习班，但我发现GRE对我太难了，学不了。
In April 1998, I graduated from Northeastern University with a master's degree and became unemployed. I was worried that Troupe Leader Liu was badmouthing me behind my back and could not find a girlfriend when I arrived at my new workplace, so I was reluctant to go to state-run enterprises and institutions such as state organs and schools, believing that it would be difficult for him to do badmouthing in the private sector. I like to work in real estate, but I am color blind, and my unwillingness to practice computer graphics has made it difficult for me to find a job. I'm at home, usually take an English-speaking class, and I've taken classes for the GRE, but I've found that the GRE is too hard for me to learn.
9.1 拓疆房地产公司 TJ Real Estate Ltd
1999年春，辽宁拓疆房地产公司的董事长，刘总找到了我，说他们在沈阳人才市场发现了我的个人简历，让我做这个公司的经理。工作中，刘总让我办事时自己做方案，自己找项目，计划成熟了再向他汇报。刘总是1960、70年代在沈阳军区大院里长大的。平日工作中，我接触的人也多是沈阳军区的高干子女。同事们开始给我介绍女朋友了；我把以前的不开心事全忘了。
In the spring of 1999, the chairman of TJ Real Estate Ltd, Mr. Liu found me, said they found my resume in the Shenyang job market, let me do the company's manager. At work, Mr. Liu told me to do my own program, find my own projects, and report back to him when the plan was mature. Mr. Liu grew up in the 1960s and 70s in the Shenyang Military Region compound. In my regular work, most of the people I meet are also children of high cadres in the Shenyang Military Region. My coworkers started to introduce me to girlfriends; I forgot all about my previous unhappiness.
 
刘总是会计出身，没什么复杂的经历，可他写了回忆录，而且准备出版（注1）。Mr. Liu came from an accounting background and had little complex experience, but he wrote his memoirs, and he was preparing to publish it (Annotation 1).
我常常对我的工作中弄虚作假的事而烦恼，而且因为工作中所做的亏心事，常常感到恐惧。我申请了移民加拿大，决定如果我在这里工作得不好，就到国外去开辟新天地。
I was often annoyed at the fudging of my job and was often fearful because of what I was doing at work. I applied to immigrate to Canada, deciding that if I didn't work well here, I would go to explore new world abroad.
注9.1，刘总写回忆录的行为对我的影响很大；我写回忆录就是因为受到了他的熏染。
Annotation 9.1, Liu's behavior in writing his memoirs had a great influence on me; I wrote my memoirs because I was inspired by him.
9.2 岩土工程师公司 Soil Engineers Ltd
2001年4月，我移民到了加拿大的多伦多，一边学英语，一边在肯德基打工。不久后，我结婚了，开始了新的生活。
In April 2001, I immigrated to Toronto, Canada, and worked at KFC while learning English. Shortly afterward, I got married and started a new life.
（1）
2002年3月，一家岩土工程师有限公司（Soil Engineers Ltd）找到了我，作工程质量检测的技术员。面试我的人说是在人才交流中心发现了我找工作的简历。
In March 2002, I was approached by Soil Engineers Ltd, a geotechnical engineering company, to work as an engineering quality inspection technician. The person who interviewed me said that he had found my resume in a job exchange center looking for a job.
我上班没多久，就有同事们议论我说，我在中国是个大家族的孩子，和父亲吵架，就自己跑到加拿大了；我父亲委托这家公司的所有者Victor，帮我安排了这份工作。有人对我说：加拿大可不是你这种人该来的地方，你该明白了，回去吧！或者说，你什么时候回国呀！？我对这说法没什么感觉，就认为是他们搞错人了。
I hadn't been at work for long when some of my coworkers were talking about me saying that I was a child of a big family in China, and that I had run away to Canada on my own after a fight with my father; that my father had commissioned Victor, the owner of this company, to help me arrange this job. Someone said to me: Canada is not a place for people like you, it's time for you to realize that and go back! Or when are you going back to your country! I didn't feel anything about this statement and assumed that they had the wrong person.
 
注解9.2-1，插图9.2-1源自《墨西哥法典》（Mexican Codex）。图2显示，舍利王（Huitzilopochtli，如图1）正在通过人们的议论对流亡海外的阿兹特兰（即年青时的特拉洛克）传递信息（如图2；参见本书的第18章《太阳石 The Sun Stone》）。图3表示，舍利王通过人们的议论， “千里传音” 给阿兹特兰，因此斩断了他的头（如断头树所示）。本章中的刘团长和古墨西哥的舍利王一样，派人跟随我来到了加拿大，继续对我作法， “斩断了我的头” ，迫使我依据他的意志 “重新做人” 。
Annotation 9.2-1, illustration 9.2-1 is derived from the Mexican Codex. The picture 2 shows that Huitzilopochtli （see picture 1） is sending a message to Aztlan (the young Tlaloc), who is in exile, through the people's talk (see Chapter 18, “The Sun Stone”, in this book). The picture 3 shows that Huitzilopochtli “sent a message” to Aztlan through the talk of the people, and thus cut off his head (as shown in the severed tree).Troupe Leader Liu in this chapter, like Huitzilopochtli of ancient Mexico, sent someone to follow me to Canada and continued to work on me, “severing my head” and forcing me to “become a new man” according to his will.
（2 谣言 Rumors）
同事刘加力（Garry.CC.Liu），是一位来自台湾的工程师，几次跟我说父子吵架不应该这样。我回答，在大陆，我只是个普通农民家的孩子。
My colleague Garry.CC.Liu, an engineer from Taiwan, told me several times that father-son quarrels should not be like this. I replied that in mainland China, I am just a child of an ordinary farmer's family.
一次，刘加力对我生气了，指责我不给爸爸打电话，还说：“你爸给你找工作，就表示他已经后悔了。怎么地？你还想让你爸给你道歉呐！那工作给你找的，你满意不满意的可不是问题所在。你爸他一个大陆人，在加拿大办事能有多大能量！怎么就这点事儿，我就跟你说不明白呢！”
Once, Garry.CC.Liu got angry with me, accusing me of not calling my dad and saying, "The fact that your dad got you a job means that he already regrets it. What's wrong with that? You still want your dad to apologize to you! The job is for you, whether you are satisfied or not is not the issue. Your dad is a mainlander, he can't do much in Canada! That's the only thing I can't get through to you!"
我开始明白了，这是刘团长指使人在背后制造的谣言，对他说： “我回家就给他打电话。” 
I began to understand that this was a rumor created behind the scenes by Troupe Leader Liu's instructions, and said to him, “I'll call him when I get home.”
事后我想，这老头子终于后悔了。可让我难受的是，刘团长知道我喜欢刘健君，是因为不喜欢他，所以我不愿意和刘健君交往。老头子心里明白，他得多难过！
Afterwards I thought, this old man finally regretted it. But what makes me feel bad is that Troupe Leader Liu knows that I like his daughter Eve Liu, because I don't like him, so I don't want to go out with Eve Liu. The old man understood in his heart, how sad he had to be!
 
（3 窃听 Eavesdropping）
一次，公司在每个员工工资支票的信封里放了一个通知，说有人监听我们公司技术人员的电话，让所有的员工不要使用公司的电话作为媒体来交流测量数据和商谈质量评定。随后经理在公司开会时说，我们也琢磨不出为什么有人监听我们技术人员的电话，但是总公司发现了这个问题。
At one point, the company put a notice in the envelope of each employee's paycheck saying that someone was listening in on our company's technicians' phone calls and that all employees should refrain from using the company's phones as a medium for exchanging measurement data and negotiating quality ratings. The manager then said at a company meeting that we couldn't figure out why someone was tapping our technicians' phones, but the home office found out about it.
当时，对此我没在意。后来，我怀疑我家的电话被窃听了。电话的声音小，声音不清晰，像似被串联了许多电话。我更换了电话公司。开始还好，可不久后，电话的音质又变差了。随后十来年，这一问题都纠缠着我。我没办法，只是心里想，我没有秘密，让你们听去吧。可是，我总感觉个人隐私被泄露了；这事对我觉思失调症（Schizophrenia）的形成和爆发有很大的作用。
At the time, this didn't bother me. Later, I suspected that my home phone was tapped. The phone's voice was small and unclear, like it was strung up for many calls. I changed phone companies. It was fine at first, but soon after, the sound quality of the phone got worse again. This problem haunted me for the next ten years or so. I had no choice but to think to myself, I have no secrets, let you hear them. However, I always felt that my privacy had been compromised; this played a big role in the development and outbreak of my Schizophrenia.
（4 糊涂的争吵 Confused Argument）
一天在Mclaughlin Rd and Derry Rd 西北角的工地，忽然工地的经理和另外几个人怒气冲冲地来和我吵架，指责几件我不知道的事。开始时，他们说我撒谎，还是很生气。后来，他们看我的表情是既没生气也没笑，是在认真地分析他们所说的事。他们几个相互质疑说：咱们是在和谁打架呢！？他们相互商量，结论是都是从XXX地方，那两个中国人那里听来的，他们在骗我们。几个人愤愤地离开了。
One day at the site on the NW corner of Mclaughlin Rd and Derry Rd, suddenly the site manager and a couple of other guys came in angry and argued with me, accusing me of a couple of things I didn't know. At first, they said I was lying and still angry. Later, they looked at me with an expression of neither anger nor laughter and were seriously analyzing what they were saying. Several of them questioned each other and said: who we are fighting with! They discussed with each other and concluded that they had heard it all from XXX place, from those two Chinese, and that they were lying to us. They left angrily.
注9.2-4，这种挑唆别人和我打架来改善我性格的作法，道理上和5.2节、9.3节、以及9.5节梭罗的作法相同。
Annotation 9.2-4, This practice of instigating others to fight with me to improve my personality is rationally the same as that of section 5.2, section 9.3, and among section 9.5, Sal Fasullo does.
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