2024-04-29 19:00 
前段时间回乡下祭祖，和几个好久没见的乡亲聊天，大家就一个问题产生了争执。起因是这样的，有一户人家要办丧事，按照传统礼俗，丧礼上有一个仪式需要由去世老人的长子完成。但情况比较特殊，长子先于老人去世了，按照我们这的风俗，该由长孙来接替完成。


这户老人家刚好有3个儿子，老大已经不在了，老二、老三还在，他们生的都是儿子。按理说，老大是家里最大的儿子，长孙应该指的是这个长子的儿子，一般也是家中年纪最大的孙子。

但问题就出在这里。这户人家的老二结婚生子较早，就出现了老二的儿子比老大的儿子年纪大的情况。最终的结果是，这户人家的长辈认为，长孙应该指的是年纪最大的孙子，加上这位孙子自幼聪明伶俐，在家族中很受宠，于是他就被指名来完成原本该由长子完成的仪式。


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没过多久，这件事在乡亲之间传开来，引起了大家的热议。一部分乡邻认为，这户人家在这件事上办得不妥，因为长孙顾名思义，应该是长子的儿子。原本这是别人的家事，但这背后，却牵扯到了中国传统文化中对于“长幼有序”的定义。


为此，我特地进行了一番研究，试图找到答案，然后我发现，很多人并不清楚“长孙”真正的定义，难怪一直搞不明白。

这要从古代说起。古时候，人们对规矩看得很重，并且当时都是多子女的大家庭，牵扯到方方面面的利益，为了便于家庭管理，同时也是宣扬礼仪礼数，就有了很严格的辈分和长幼顺序。
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在古代，男人是可以纳妾的。换句话说，每个人只能有一个正妻，但在正妻之外，还可以纳妾，属于“一夫一妻多妾制”。基于这个背景下，有时候会出现妾生的儿子，比正妻生的儿子年龄还要大的情况。


为了区分“妻妾”地位的不同，就有了嫡子、庶子的区别。正妻生的第一个儿子叫嫡长子，妾生的第一个儿子叫庶长子。封建社会的嫡庶地位相差很多，通常情况下，嫡子具有优先家产继承权，享受的生活待遇也要高于庶子。

以此类推，嫡子、庶子生出来的儿子，就叫嫡孙、庶孙。他们的地位，也是延续父亲的地位，嫡孙要比庶孙更受宠，特别是嫡长孙。
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在古籍《史记》中，出现过这么一段记载，“太甲，成汤适长孙也，是为帝太甲”。太甲的祖父是商朝开国君主商汤，他的父亲是商汤的嫡长子太丁。换句话说，太甲是太丁的嫡长子。


从这些人物关系来看，太甲是商汤嫡长子生下来的第一个儿子，在《史记》中被定义为“长孙”。由此，我们可以推断，长孙是指长子生下来的第一个儿子，和年纪无关。只要是长子的大儿子，无论他在同一辈中的年龄是大是小，都是名副其实的“长孙”。

按照这个逻辑来说，前面提到的案例中，如果严格遵循传统礼仪，该仪式就应该是长子的大儿子来完成，而不是年纪最大的孙子来完成。但这户人家的做法，真的不妥吗？这就要说到现代社会对于长孙的定义了。


如今时代不同了，更提倡人人平等，反倒没有了过去特别严格的礼数做约束，特别是在同一辈里，通常是按照年龄大小来排序。而在财产继承方面，按照我国法律的规定，无论是不是长孙，享有的继承权都是平等的，并且长孙指的是年龄最大的孙子，而不一定是长子的儿子。

但在很多人的观念中，依旧停留在封建社会对于长孙的定义中，所以才会出现和前面类似的争执，大家没法确定，究竟谁才是名正言顺的长孙。
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特别是时代发展到现在，我国执行的是一夫一妻制，早已不存在嫡庶之分，并且也不会像过去一样生很多孩子，更推崇的是人人平等、男女平等，所以长孙与否也显得没那么重要了。不过，我们也不能抹去历史文化中的记载，更应该取其精华，去其糟粕，将传统文化延续下去。