墨菲爱情定理 一



A good women/men are like parking spots，all the good ones are taken

一个好女人或者好男人就像泊车位一样，好的都给占了。

 

Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero

智慧和相貌以及可行性的乘积是个常量，而这个常量总是为零。

 

Money can't buy love，but it sure gets you a great bargaining position

钱不能买到爱情，但毫无疑问它的份量可以影响杠杆的平衡。

 

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble

性爱只需要最短的时间就能带来最多的麻烦。

 

No matter how many times you've had it，if it's offered take it，because it'll never be quite the same again

不管你曾经拥有了多少次，如果还有的话，接受吧，因为每次都是不同的。

 

If it seems too good to be true，it probably is not true.

如果令你难以置信的话，你最好还是别信。

 

 

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later

某个男人最吸引某个女人的品质也就是多年后那个女人所不能容忍的.

 

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden

在花园里造成麻烦的不是树上的苹果，而是那双在地上的脚。



墨菲爱情定理二

Before you find your handsome prince，you've got to kiss a lot of frogs

在发现你的英俊王子之前，你已经吻过了多只青蛙。

 

There may be some things better than sex，and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it

 

有些东西可能比性爱好，有些东西可能比性爱差，但没有一样东西是像性爱那样的。

 

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program，we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon

如果把用在研究女人胸部的精力放在航天计划上的话，我们或许已经在月球上练摊儿了。

 

Love is a matter of chemistry，sex is a matter of physics

爱是化学反应，性是物理反应。

 

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

爱过了，失去了，也好过爱都没爱过。

 

A woman never forgets the men she could have had；a man，the women he couldn't

女人永远不会忘了那个她曾经可以拥有的男人；男人永远不会忘了那个他没可能拥有的女人。

 

It is better to be looked over than overlooked

匆匆一瞥好过目中无人。

 

 

If you're heart is broken，sweep up the pieces.

There will always be someone who will want to put it back together

如果你的心碎了，把碎片收拾起来。这世上总会有人想要把它补好。





墨菲爱情定理 三 



Love has all the answers. But till then sex brings up some good questions

爱有了所有的答案。只是后来，性又带来些有意思的问题。

 

Anticipation is 98% of the pleasure

期待占据了快乐的98%。

 

Marriage is the greatest leveler

婚姻是最伟大的平均主义者。





Women are like boats：they require constant maintenance and attention，and they cost a lot of money.

Men are like buses：another one will eventually come along

女人像游艇：需要定期的维护和关注，而且花费很高。

 男人像公共汽车：下一班迟早会来。



Romance is when common sense flies out of the window

浪漫就是常识从窗口飞出去了。

 

Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed

眼里的美貌与肚子里的佳酿成正比。

 

Any "Why" question，has no answer，and if it does，that answer is not logical

任何‘为什么’的问题都没有答案，如果有的话，答案也不合乎逻辑。

 

If you love a person let them go. If they don't come back they weren't worth it

如果你爱一个人，让他走。如果他没回来，他不值得你去爱。

 

To get your significant other you need：Time. Money and Energy.

The sum of the three is constant.

If you are short of one of them，you need quite a lot of the remaining two.

If you are short of two of them，you need tremendous amount of the remaining one.

If you are short of all the three，no hope.

Otherwise the result is always success.

想要得到你的另一半，你需要：时间，金钱和精力。

三者的总和是常量。

如果缺其中一样，另外两样的投入相应增加。

如果缺其中两样，剩下的那样需要巨大的投入。

如果三样都缺，没希望。

除了这些情况，结局都是成功的.



 

Beaches law：If you think a girl is beautiful，her boyfriend will always be there to confirm it

沙滩法则：如果你认为一个女孩漂亮的话，她的男朋友总会在那儿证实你的观点。

 

Marriage is like a dog with a bone，he might not touch it，just doesn't let another dogs come near it

婚姻关系就像一只狗和一根骨头，他/她可能碰都不碰那骨头，只是不允许其他狗靠近。

 

The difference between love and the common cold is that for the common cold there is a vaccine

爱和感冒的区别在于感冒是有药可治的。