大爆炸后的第二天早晨，我醒了，发现自己没死，很兴奋，感觉全身舒畅，思维敏捷，精力充沛，变得更加欢喜了。恰巧我哥哥从中国上海打来电话。谈了几句之后，他惊讶地对我说：“卢欣（我妹妹）说你病了，我不信，所以给你打电话了。听着！我不懂神精病，但我知道，你的声音变了，像似做了心脏搭桥手术似的。开始时我都没听出来是你。你的语速特别快，我是没数，但我估计着，你的语速比平时快50-80%。你说话也太快了，我都反应不过来。另外你现在异常兴奋。这些都是精神病的症状。你现在人在哪儿呢？”
The morning after the explosion, I woke up and found that I was not dead, was very excited. I felt relaxed, my mind was sharp, and I was full of energy, became even happier. My brother happened to call me from Shanghai, China. After a few words, he said to me in surprise: "Xin Lu (my sister) said that you were sick, I didn't believe it, so I called you. Listen! I don't understand mental illness, but I know that your voice has changed, as if you had a heart bypass surgery. At first, I didn't recognize it as you. You speak very fast. I didn't count, but I estimated that your speed was 50-80% faster than usual. You speak too fast, I can't react. In addition, you are abnormally excited now. These are symptoms of mental illness. Where are you now?"
我回答：“在家里的后院儿。”
哥哥立刻说：“那可不行！现在你这么兴奋，我是真不懂；但过一会儿你可能晕倒了呢！你撞了哪里，流血了，家里又没别人，那血就流干了，死了！赶紧回屋躺在床上。” 我向屋里走时，感觉身体渐渐地变得沉重了；全身又有了昨天的风湿症的感觉。哥哥在电话里说：“你的声音变回来了！慢慢地走，躺倒在床上。你赶紧回国吧！” 
I answered, "In the backyard of my house." 
Brother immediately said, "That won't do! I don't understand why you are so excited now, but you might faint in a while! If you hit something and bleed, there is no one else at home, the blood will dry up then you will die! Go back to the house and lie on the bed." As I walked into the house, I felt my body gradually become heavy; my whole body felt the rheumatism I had yesterday. My brother said on the phone, "Your voice has returned! Walk slowly and lie down on the bed. Go back China quickly!"
10.3-2 病态 Sickness
这时，我想着本书第2章《桃花劫》里算命先生的说法，“桃花运来了，谁也没办法，赶紧去娶人家的女儿入洞房，否则，你活不过一百天”。我认为自己只有一百天的寿命了，开始办签证，准备回国找刘健君结婚。我这是依照本书2.4节的说法， “被人家用死不暝目诅咒了，死不了也活不长；解法就是照着人家下咒人的愿望去做。” 这时，我并不真正地懂得《桃花劫》的道理。
At this time, I thought about what the fortune teller said in Chapter 2 of this book, "Peach Flower Catastrophe", "When ‘peach flower fortune’ comes, no one can stop it, hurry up and marry the man's daughter into the bridal chamber, otherwise, you will not live for more than a hundred days." I thought I only had a hundred days to live, so I started to apply for a visa and prepare to return to China to marry Eve Liu. I was following the statement in Section 2.4 of this book, "If someone curses you with ‘Die with Eyes Open’, you will not live long even you didn’t die instantly; the only solution is to do what the person who cursed you wishes." At this time, I did not really understand the theory of Peach Flower Catastrophe.
这时，我怀疑所有的人。我去领事馆办签证时，认为刘健君派人暗中帮助我。飞机上，我认为刘健君安排人在暗示我：如何保护我自己的心脏。那时，我时刻精神内敛，注意着自己体内风湿症的走动，不停地用真气包裹着心脏，驱赶着风湿症。
At this time, I suspected everyone. When I went to the consulate to apply for a visa, I thought Eve Liu sent someone to help me secretly. On the plane, I thought Eve Liu arranged for someone to hint me how to protect my own heart. At that time, I was always introverted, paying attention to the movement of rheumatism in my body, and constantly wrapping my heart with “true airs” to drive away rheumatism.
10.3-3 癔症 Hysteria
大爆炸发生两三天后，我怀疑那是癔症（Hysteria）。癔症就是不能正确理解第12章中的幻觉现象，认为那是鬼灵精怪或外星生物，又常常琢磨，就与那些他或她认为的鬼灵精怪的幻觉现象建立了联系。若认为对方有恶意，便生惶惑。常常回忆那些现象会招致那些幻觉再现，于是惑又生恐，恐又生惑，思想身体经历相互呼应，就走入了极端，患上了癔症。
Two or three days after the Big Bang, I suspected that it was hysteria. Hysteria is the inability to correctly understand the hallucinations in Chapter 12, thinking that they are ghosts or alien creatures, and often thinking about them can establish a connection with those ghosts and hallucinations that he or she thinks are ghosts or aliens. If you think that the component has malicious intentions, you will be confused. Frequently recalling those phenomena will cause those hallucinations to reappear, so confusion will lead to fear, and fear will lead to confusion. The thoughts and body experiences echo each other, then they go to extremes and suffer from hysteria.
癔症古作鬼病，是因为古人以过去为阴，未来为阳，而且那些幻觉与过去的经历相关，所以称幻境为阴间。阴，佛教中作蕴，所以尘世的鬼怪佛教中亦作蕴魔。
Hysteria, anciently called as Ghost Disease, because the ancients viewed the past as Gloominess and the future as Light; and that those hallucinations relate to the past experiences, so call the hallucinations as Netherworld. Netherworld, in Buddhism, is called Node World, so those hallucinations can be called “Node Demons”.
癔症的治疗办法就是正确理解那些幻觉的现象和本质。我年轻时练习气功（参见第12章），就懂那些现象，认为自己对癔症免疫。我开始测试那些风湿症是否是幻觉，测试他们与意识的相应关系。得出的结论是没关系，那风湿症确实是大爆炸，那次超大规模的触觉幻觉遗留下来的后遗症，是真实的身体上的病症。
The cure for hysteria is to correctly understand the phenomena and nature of those hallucinations. Because I practiced Meditation (cf. chapter 12) when I was young, I understood those phenomena and thought I was immune to hysteria. I began to test whether those rheumatisms were hallucinations, testing their correspondence with intention. The conclusion reached was that it was not correlated, that that rheumatism was indeed the aftermath of the Big Bang, the legacy of that super-massive tactile hallucination, and that rheumatism was a real physical ailment.
10.3-4 第一次寻香失败了 The First Seeking-Incense Failed.
2011年10月，我回到了沈阳父母家，我妈妈在中国医科大学精神病院院长王哲教授的指导下，偷偷地把利培酮口服液参进了我的饮食里。利培酮对我有很多副作用，随着药剂量的加大，我觉得全身每一个器官都有功能上的毛病，全身难受。每天我都睡15个小时以上，除了有时运气向体外排泄风湿气，没什么别的精力了。我要找刘健君，和她结婚，让她爸爸瞑目；可我说话没逻辑，家人都认为我在说疯话，没人帮我，什么事也没干成。
In October 2011, I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, where my mother secretly entered oral risperidone into my diet under the guidance of Prof. Wang Zhe, director of the psychiatric hospital at China Medical University. Risperidone has many side effects on me. As the dosage increases, I feel that every organ in my body has functional problems, and I feel uncomfortable all over. I sleep more than 15 hours a day. Except for sometimes using my “true air” to excrete rheumatic gas from my body, I have no energy for anything else. I want to find Eve Liu, marry her, and let her father rest in peace; but my words are illogical, and my family thinks I am talking nonsense. No one helps me, therefore have not accomplished anything.
仿佛听说，他们询问了，说是有刘团长那么个人，神叨叨的，早就过世了。我说的那个黄老师也已经过世了。我委托妹妹打听几个人，回复说，“问了，没找到。” 有的，回电话的人说，“没那个人！”
I seem to have heard that they asked about this person, Troupe Leader Liu, who was a mysterious person and had passed away a long time ago. The teacher Huang I was talking about had also passed away. I asked my sister to ask a few people, and she replied, "I asked, but didn't find him." “Yes, the person who answered the phone said, ’There is no such person!’"
 
注10.3.4 寻香是什么意思？Note 10.3.4, what does "seeking incense” mean?
在中华文化中，“寻香”在凡间的含义是“众灵”前往器世间投生为人、为狗等。“寻香”的香字义为女戒的“五百威仪十万八千魅力”比男戒的“三千威仪八万四千细行”（参见16.2节）多出来的部分，义为玉女的美德熏于四方。本书中作者我从堕入地狱开始直到我和刘健君结婚，就是一位寻香。因为玉女（女神）的外貌是无记性的，现在我的头脑中没有刘健君的外表形象，我辨别她就是靠辨别她的“戒香”（即五百威仪十万八千魅力）。插图10.3-1是《墨西哥法典》（参见第18章）中雨劫阶段（即寻香阶段）的墨西哥。他要找的是图1中的那个很大的女人，即地表女神翠玉女（即夏娃，如图2所示）。
In Chinese culture, in the mortal world, the meaning of “seeking incense” is the “crowd of spirits” going to rebirth becoming a human, a dog, etc. in the vessel world. The word "incense" in "seeking incense" means the extra part of the "500 Majesties 108,000 Charms" of the woman precepts compared to the "3,000 Majesties 84,000 Enchantments” of man precepts (see Section 16.2), which means that the virtues of the Jade Girl’s (Goddess’) precept fragrance smoking to four directions. In this book, I am a being who “seeks incense” from the time I fell into hell until I married Eve Liu. Because the appearance of the Jade Girl (Goddess) is memoryless, I don't have her bodily appearance in my mind now, and only I can identify her by identifying her "precept incense" (that is, 500 Majesties 108,000 Charms). Illustration 10.3-1 is Mexico during the rain catastrophe stage (i.e. the stage of seeking incense) in Mexican Codex (cf. chapter 18). He is looking for the big woman in Figure 1, the earth surface Goddess, Chalchiuhtlicue (i.e. Eve, as shown in Figure 2).
10.3-5 研究精神病 Study Psychosis
两周后，我的心情有些安静了，去书店买了中医针灸教材，开始按照真气的流注方向，引导全身的真气运行。风湿症暂时控制住了。
Two weeks later, I felt a little calmer, went to a bookstore and bought some Chinese medicine and acupuncture textbooks. I began to guide the flow of “true air” throughout my body according to the direction of “true air” flow. The rheumatism was temporarily under control.
一个月后，父母兄妹都说我疯了，而且他们在我的饮食里放了药。我不相信，也不认为自己病了；可家人都这么说，让我吃药，我也只能顺从了。找刘健君的念头渐渐地淡了。
A month later, my parents, brothers and sisters all said I was crazy, and they put medicine in my diet. I didn't believe it, and I didn't think I was sick; but my family said so and asked me to take medicine, so I had to obey. The idea of looking for Eve Liu gradually faded.
我小时候，崔凤龙姨父跟我说过多次，医院85-95%的精神病医生不懂精神病，所以我不信任精神病医生，就自己买了几本心理学的书。随后多年，我逐渐地相信了刘团长、刘建君、和那个精神病爱好者前女友的说法（参见4.8，7.5.1，和8.7节） ，有了自己的精神病治疗原则（参见10.6节）。
When I was a child, Uncle Dragon told me many times that 85-95% of psychiatrists in hospitals do not understand mental illness, so I did not trust psychiatrists and bought a few psychology books myself. In the following years, I gradually believed what Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu, and the ex-girlfriend who was a psychiatric enthusiast said (cf. vs. 4.8, 7.5.1, and 8.7), developed my own principles for treating mental illness (cf. v. 10.6).
10.3-6 巴甫洛夫楼 Pavlov Building
妹妹安排我和王哲教授见面。我请他帮忙找刘健君；他认为找她没用。但是，刚见面时，我听说他是医大的，随口问了句：“你知道巴甫洛夫楼不？” 他听了，愣住了，站了起来，思索了很久说：“我知道！可那时我只是个研究生，没资格进那个楼。” 
My sister arranged a meeting between me and Prof. Wang Zhe. I asked him to help me find Eve Liu. He thought it would be useless to find her. However, when we first met, I heard that he was from the China Medical University and casually asked, "Do you know the Pavlov Building?" When he heard that, he froze, stood up, thought for a long time, and said, "I know! But at that time, I was just a graduate student, not qualified to enter that building."
事后，我回忆起了他的怪异，在互联网上查找，发现了1950年代中国关于医学哲学的争议。中国传统的医学全是唯心主义的，对马克思主义是否适用于医学进行了辩论。
Afterward, I recalled his weirdness, looked it up on the Internet, and discovered a controversy about the philosophy of medicine in China in the 1950s. Traditional Chinese medicine was all about Theism, and there was a debate about the applicability of Marxism to medicine.
注10.3-6，我在2014年写回忆录时注意到了此事，联想起了3.4节《巴甫洛夫楼》中崔凤龙出差到医大的巴甫洛夫楼，又联想起了7.4节《刘健君给我的印象》中刘健君特别告诉我这栋楼，我得出了结论：巴甫洛夫楼就是4.5节《真人医学实验报纸新闻》中所说的女子组集中培训的地方。
Note 10.3-6, I noticed this when I was writing my memoirs in 2014. It reminded me of Section 3.4 "Pavlov Building" where Uncle Dragon was on a business trip to the Medical University's Pavlov Building and reminded me of Section 7.4 "My Impression of Eve Liu", where she specifically told me about this building. I concluded that Pavlov Building is the place where the girl group was trained in Section 4.5 "Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiments".
10.3-7 病情没好转 No Improvement in Condition
在2012年3月，我回到了多伦多，开始学习心理学和精神病学。不久，我进了SPL Consultants Ltd工作。这时，我仍有妄想、敌视、怀疑等症状；在本质上，病情没有好转。
在2012年春有冰雨，我家后院的桃树没开花。几十年来第一次，我的脸上没长桃花藓。
In March 2012, I returned to Toronto and began studying psychology and psychiatry. Shortly after, I went to work for SPL Consultants Ltd. At this time, I was still experiencing delusions, hostility, and skepticism; in essence, my schizophrenia was not getting better.
In the spring of 2012, there was freezing rain and the peach tree in my backyard did not bloom. For the first time in decades, I didn't have “peach flower tinea” on my face.
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坛主:Adam_Luyan于2024_10_19 10:24:48编辑