2014年春，我完成了用英语编写的四圣谛，本书13到16章的雏形，可是没地方发表，实际也是写得不好。但我从中学到了很多佛学知识，为后来的学习和觉悟奠定了基础。
In the spring of 2014, I finished writing the Four Cruxes in English, the chapter 13 to 16 of this book in its infancy, but there was no place to publish them, and they were poorly written. But I learned a lot about Buddhism and laid the foundation for later study and enlightenment.
我觉得自己的心病好了，可以工作了。前几年的疯狂经历让我体会了客观环境受主观心性增上的原理。业是身、口、意行为的积累，即身口意的习气。业由心造，境随业转。心有净染，故境有自在及不自在。染心为业所拘，则境不能自在。净心无所挂碍，则境随心自如。天见宝严之地，而鱼见乃为窟宅；人见是清凉水，鬼见是脓河猛火，皆由业因差殊。
I felt like my schizophrenia was cured and ready to work. The previous years of crazy experiences made me realize the principle that environments are escalatory by the subjective heart (i.e., mind). Karma is the accumulation of bodily orally and intentionally behavioral habits, is created by heart, and environments changes along karma. Because of heart with the maculate and immaculateness, environments are insufficient and sufficient. If the contaminated heart is detained by karma, then the environment is not sufficient. Immaculate heart with nothing to worry and to cling to, then its environment along heart fulfills each wish by contentment. The sky sees a place of treasures and splendor, but the fish sees it as a ruined house; the man sees clear and cool water, but the ghost sees a river of pus and fire, all because of the differences in karmic causes.
我回忆并回去参观了我来加拿大后居住和工作过的地方，发现那里的人都和我刚来加拿大时一样，还是那样的表情，那样的行为和工作方式。我明白了：世界没变，是我自己变了。那我怎么变回去呢？我必须治好我的精神病，否则，心病引发的身体疾病会越来越多，越来越重。
I recalled and went back to visit the places where I lived and worked since I came to Canada, and I found that the people there were the same as they were when I first came to Canada, they still had the same expressions, the same behaviors, and the same way of working. I realized: the world hadn't changed, I had changed. So how do I change back? I must cure my mental illness, otherwise the physical illnesses caused by my mental illnesses will become more and more serious.
（1）宿命通 Fate Through
2014年5月，我到Thurber Engineering Ltd工作。没几天，我就听到了这个工作是我以前Davroc的老板桫椤给我联系的。一个月后，有些工地的场景让我触景生情，偶尔感觉肚子里到处都在动，偶尔感觉肚子疼。这让我感到解决和刘健君的恩怨情仇已经迫在眉睫。工作和生活中，我又认为刘健君在背后和我做对了。
In May 2014, I went to work for Thurber Engineering Ltd. Within a few days, I heard that the job was contacted to me by my former Davroc boss, Sal Fasullo. After a month, some of the site scenes touched me， occasionally I felt my stomach moving everywhere， sometimes I felt stomach-ache. These made me feel that the resolution of the feud with Eve Liu was imminent. At work and in life, I again thought that Eve Liu is plotting behind my back.
 
我的情绪变得很不稳定，想起过去的高兴事就笑，又想起来过去的伤心事就流泪。一天，在公司的实验室里，我在检测材料样品，一个同事突然兴奋地从高处跳跑过我的背后。我大吃一惊，被吓得头发都立起来了，说话声音也变了。在那惊诧的一瞬间，我仿佛听见刘团长在另外一个房间里谈论我，在向别人介绍我在想什么。我回忆起了我16个月的年龄时，本书第一章《娃娃婚约》，刘团长为我蒙眼睛时的景象，回忆起了那时我和刘健君定亲的事。
My emotions became very unstable, I laughed when I remembered happy things in the past and shed tears when I thought of sad things in the past. One day, in the company's laboratory, I was testing material samples when a colleague suddenly and excitedly jumped and ran across my back from a high place. I was shocked, so frightened that my hair stood on end and my speaking voice changed. In that moment of surprise, it was as if I heard Troupe Leader Liu talking about me in the other room, introducing others to what I was thinking. I recalled the sight of the first chapter of this book, “Children Marriage Contract”, when I was sixteen months of age, when Troupe Leader Liu blindfolded me, and I recalled the betrothal of Eve Liu and me at that time.
回忆出了三岁之前的事，我就觉悟到了刘团长留给我的宿命任务，即完成此实验的《实验报告》。实验内容参见4.5《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》。这在佛教里叫宿命通。这很难，因为人在3岁左右时，随着语言能力的形成，记忆模式和记忆提取模式都发生了变化，正常的人都不能回忆出3岁以前的事；但在精神病人中回忆出三岁之前事的不罕见。
After recalling what happened before I was three years old, I realized the predestined task left to me by Troupe Leader Liu, which was to complete the Experiment Report. See 4.5 Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiments for the contents of the experiment. This is called “Fate Through” in Buddhism. It is difficult because when a person is about three years old, with the formation of language ability, the memory pattern and the memory extraction pattern change, and no normal person can recall events before the age of three; but it is not uncommon to recall events before the age of three among psychiatric patients.
后来，我仔细辨认，觉得那个声音不是刘团长的。正如崔凤龙姨父当时所说，我确实从小就在找刘团长。在我六七岁的时候，我以为我奶奶的一个侄子就是刘团长，我听到的声音就是他的声音。当我长到十几岁的时候，我发现我要找的人并不是他。当时，不知道为什么，我就是觉得自己在找一个人。后来，我一心想在沈阳找一位大神级的算命先生，并且拜他为师。1996 年，我和刘健君谈起了《超渡》，通过她对父亲的描述，我找到了我要找的人，那就是她的父亲（刘团长）。但那时，我并不记得我在 16个月大时就和她订婚的事实。正是因为这段恋情，我决定放弃刘团长。我甚至不知道自己为什么要找一个人，要找谁，又怎么知道她爸爸就是我要找的人？我找她爸爸只是一种无意识的兴趣感觉。从我和刘健君的谈话中（见 7.7 至 7.11 节），我知道她爸爸懂佛教。除了她爸爸，我从小到大从未见过一个懂得自然法则的人。
Later, I carefully recognized it and felt that the voice was not that of Troupe Leader Liu. As Uncle Dragon said at the time, I had indeed been looking for Troupe Leader Liu since I was a child. When I was six or seven years old, I thought that one of my grandmother's nephews was Troupe Leader Liu and that the voice I heard was his. When I grew into my teens, I realized that the person I was looking for was not him. At that time, I don't know why, but I just felt like I was looking for someone. Later, I was bent on finding a great fortune-teller in Shenyang and to become his disciple. in 1996, I talked to Eve Liu about Transcendent Ferry, and through her description of her father, I found the person I was looking for, and that was her father (Troupe Leader Liu). But at that time, I did not remember the fact that I was engaged to her when I was 16 months old. It was because of this love affair that I decided to give up Troupe Leader Liu. I didn't even know why I was looking for someone, who I was looking for, and how did I know that her father was the person I was looking for? My search for her father was just an unconscious feeling of interest. From my conversation with Eve Liu (see Sections 7.7 to 7.11), I knew that her father knew Buddhism. Except for her father, I had never met anyone who knew the laws of nature since I was a child.
（2）更多证据 More Evidence
2014年6月，我决定第四次专程回国去找刘健君。我和朋友肖汉杰谈起了1996-1997年，我在东北大学时候的事（参见8.4节）。那时他是东大机械系的老师。他惊讶地说： “哎呀！那时候我就听说你们研究生宿舍那儿有人琢磨人（注2）。十来年了，我都不知道。原来那个被琢磨的人就是你！你疯得和别人不一样！你回去，找着那帮人，把事情说清楚，病就好了。”
In June 2014, I decided to make my fourth special trip back to China to look for Eve Liu. I talked to my friend Xiao Hanjie about 1996-1997, when I was at Northeastern University (NEU; see Section 8.4). At that time, he was a teacher in the Mechanical Department of NEU. He was surprised and said, "Geez! That's when I heard that there were people Polishing Man (Annotation 2) there in your graduate dormitory. It's been ten years, and I didn't even know it that the person being polished is you! Your psychosis like no others! If you go back, find those people, and make things clear, you'll be cured." 
 
注2，琢磨人是这种“灵魂转世作法”的东北方言，南方方言叫整蛊，东南亚人称作降头。什么是整蛊？整蛊就是养蛊。蛊就是蜣螂，俗称屎壳郎，如插图10.5-2-1、-2、-3、-4所示。本文以古埃及文化为例来解释养蛊。
Annotation 2, “Polishing Man” is the northeastern Chinese dialect of this “reincarnation practice”, the southern Chinese dialect calls this as “Scarabs Farming”, Southeast Asian call “Descending Head”. What is the Scarabs Farming? Scarabs Farming means raising scarabs, to farm Dung Beatles. Scarabs commonly known as dung beetles, as shown in Figures 10.5-2-1, -2, -3 and -4. This article explains “Scarabs Farming” using the ancient Egyptian culture as an example.
如图4所示，埃及众生之母夏娃手里托着的两个瓶子代表着埃及教的全部教法。左边的瓶子里装着夏娃自己编写的《生命之书》的全部知识。右边的瓶子代表亚当所著的《死亡之书》。亚当又名狮子王、蓝精灵、和释迦摩尼。死亡之书里说了什么？夏娃头顶显示了：她用蜣螂击垮了狮子王（即亚当），并把他装进了瓶子（如右瓶右上方的容器所示）。
As shown in Figure 4, the two bottles held in the hands of Eve, the Egyptian mother of all livings, represent the entire teachings of ancient Egyptian. The bottle on the left contains all the knowledge of the Book of Life, which Eve wrote herself. The bottle on the right represents the Book of Death, which was written by Adam. Adam is a Lion King, a Blue Genie, and a Shakyamuni. What does the Book of Death say? The top of Eve's head shows it: she crushed Lion King (i.e., Adam) with a dung beetle and put him in a bottle (as shown in the container at the top right of the right bottle).
那是夏娃用她的五百威仪十万八千魅力（参见16.2节）创伤了亚当；亚当就患了胃肠溃疡，常常肚子疼。古埃及人用蜣螂来代表亚当所患的胃肠溃疡。那亚当被装进了瓶子里是怎么回事？亚当在瓶子里表示他被女神夏娃创伤后，患有呼吸障碍，就像被装在了密不透风的容器内，喘不过气来！所以蓝精灵亚当就向夏娃和她父亲（即太阳神）投降了，成为了八大金刚来保护太阳神。
It was Eve who traumatized Adam with her “500 Majesties 108,000 Charms” (see section 16.2), and Adam fell into gastrointestinal ulcer, often had stomach pains. The ancient Egyptians used the dung beetle to represent the gastrointestinal ulcer that Adam suffered from. So, what's the deal with Adam being in a bottle? Adam was traumatized by Goddess Eve, suffered a breathing disorder, as if he was inside an airtight container, couldn't breathe! So, the blue genie Adam surrendered to Eve and her father, the Sun God, became 8 Philosopher-Stone Giants to defend Egyptian Sun God.
什么是降头？降头是降心相从义，如上文埃及太阳神用蜣螂（代表胃肠溃疡）降伏了亚当，让他跟随自己。插图10.5-2右是东南亚的许多关于 “降头” 的电影。
What is “Descending Head”? It means to low down heart to become a follower. Such as above, Sun God used Scarab (i.e., gastrointestinal ulcer) tamed Adam, made him a disciple. Illustration 10.5-2, right, shows several Southeast Asian movies about “Descending Head”.
 
(3)
我回到沈阳父母家后，妈妈和妹妹帮我联系了沈阳炮兵学院刚卸任的王校长。他说我说的那位黄老师，前文第7章中我和刘健君的介绍人，早就移民加拿大了，而且他早就过世了。王校长说，他们学校以前，就只有一位校长姓刘；我所说的刘校长（即刘团长）与他们学校的刘校长不符。人家是高级干部，情况不符，不能透漏消息。他还说，那位刘校长早就过世了，他没听说他的女儿拿了全额奖学金去美国读博士。他在这学校已经三十多年了，如果有这事，他应该听说了。王校长还说，我是被骗了，是别人冒充了他们的刘校长。
After I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, my mother and sister helped me contact Principal Wang of the Shenyang Artillery Academy, who had just stepped down. He said that the teacher I was talking about, Mr. Huang, the person who introduced me to Eve Liu in Chapter 7, had long since emigrated to Canada, and that he had long since passed away. Principal Wang said that before their school, there was only one principal surnamed Liu; the principal I mentioned (i.e., Troupe Leader Liu) did not match the Principal Liu of their school. He was a senior cadre, and the situation did not match, so he could not divulge the information. He also said that Principal Liu had passed away a long time ago, and he had not heard that his daughter had received a full scholarship to study for a doctorate in the United States. He has been at this school for more than thirty years, and if there is such a thing, he should have heard about it. Principal Wang also said that I had been deceived and that someone else had impersonated their Principal Liu.
我还找了几个别的人，都没成功，又泄气了，空手而回。回到多伦多后，我写回忆录，贴在网上，想着如果我的故事传开了，刘健君就发现我了。王校长说我被骗了。我仔细地回忆了刘健君的言行。我和她在一起时，一次谈起了医学院的学生都胆子大，不怕血，不怕解剖死人。她说，我们是不害怕死尸，还开玩笑说：“以前我们去食堂打饭，都从实验室里穿过去，那条路近。实验室里就有个死人的样本（应该就是泡在福尔马林液里的尸体）；那人叫XXX（尸体人生前的名字）。当穿过实验室的时候，YYY常去看他。一次她跑过来对我说：‘你看人家XXX多好，不用理发刮胡子，总是那么利索！’” 刘健君说着，模仿着男人刮胡子。我没反应过来，看着她问，她回答：“我在模仿你们男人刮胡子呢！不像吗？” 她在吓我；这是医学院学生的玩笑。
I approached a few other people, but the affair I was doing was not successful, and I was discouraged again, returned empty-handed. When I came back to Toronto, I wrote my memoirs and posted them on the Internet, thinking that if my story spread out, Eve Liu would have found me. Principal Wang said I had been cheated. I carefully recalled Eve Liu's words and actions. When I was with her, we talked once about how medical students are bold, not afraid of blood, not afraid of dissecting the dead. She said that we were not afraid of dead bodies, and joked, "We used to go to the cafeteria to get food, and we all went through the lab, which was close by. There was a sample of a dead person (I think it was a corpse soaked in formalin solution) in the lab; the person's name was XXX (the corpse person's name in life). While walking through the lab, YYY used to visit him. Once she ran over to me and said, “Look how nice the other XXX is, he doesn't need to cut his hair and shave, he's always so sharp!” Eve Liu said, imitating a man shaving. I didn't react and looked at her and asked, to which she replied, “I'm imitating you men shaving! Doesn't it look like that?” She was scaring me; it was a medical student's joke.
我和她谈话时发现，她思维极其敏捷，说话字句清晰，语义表达速度听起来不快不慢，可三五句组合起来，意思表达得完整清晰；她出口成章。我还向她请教写硕士论文，我从她的回答中判断，她一定写过硕士论文。我还从她的谈话方式中发现，她学过GRE。我个人认为，GRE中的文章写作方式对（中国）人的思维方式有很大的影响，就如同几本古典文学塑造了中国人的语言表达风格。
When I talked to her, I found that she was extremely quick in thinking, spoke clearly in words and phrases, and the speed of semantic expression did not sound fast or slow, but when three or five sentences were put together, the meaning was expressed completely and clearly; she was a natural speaker. I also asked her for advice on writing a master's thesis, and I judged from her answer that she must have written a master's thesis. I also found out from her way of talking that she had studied the GRE, and I personally think that the way of writing in the GRE has a great influence on the way of thinking of the (Chinese) people, just as a few books of classical literature have shaped the style of language expression of the Chinese people.
我认为，她肯定是个优秀的硕士毕业生，她找男朋友不需要用骗的方式。我的事情，发生了就是事实，我是要治疗我的心理疾病，骗不骗的不是问题的所在。
I think that she must be an excellent master's graduate and she doesn't need to resort to cheating to find a boyfriend. With me, what happened is what happened, I am trying to treat my mental illness, cheating, or not cheating is not the issue.
（4）
我记得第二章，崔凤龙给我讲故事的时候，说九舅给常公的药中（参见2.3 桃花劫之二），有一种药的主要成分是白色的石头。我去到了辽宁中医院，找了位教授级中医医生。
I remembered that in Chapter 2, when Uncle Dragon told me the story, he said that among the medicines given to Constant Fair by Ninth Uncle (see section 2.3 Peach Flower Catastrophe), there was a medicine whose main ingredient was a white stone. I went to the Liaoning Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital and found a professorial Chinese medicine doctor.
 
那位女教授，四十多岁，听完了我对自己病的描述和我所询问的大部分是石头的中药，她笑了，说：“那是一个古方，叫参苓白术散，正合适你的病症。不过药里面没有石头，只是人们听故事，都那么说。里面有一味药，难溶于水，沉淀，吃起来像似石粉似的。” 这为我确信那个桃花劫故事不是个普通的故事提供了依据，且证明我的记忆中有很多是有效记忆。
The female professor, in her forties, after listening to my description of my illness and my inquiry about the Chinese medicine that was mostly stones, she laughed and said, "That's an ancient formula called Shenling Baizhu San (see illustration 10.5-3), which is just right for your illness. There are no stones in the medicine though, it's just a story people hear and say that. There is an ingredient inside that is hard to dissolve in water, settles, and tastes like what looks like stone powder." This provided the basis for my conviction that that Peach Flower Catastrophe was not an ordinary one and proved that much of my memories were valid.
（5）
写回忆录时，我注意到了1996年冬，那是本书的8.3节，黄老师在谈刘团长促成我和刘健君的婚姻计划时，他帮我憧憬未来，提到了上文的王校长，是个大个子，是当时沈阳炮兵学院的组织部长。我和王校长谈话时，他自己介绍说，“1996年时，我是组织部长，他们去东北大学读研究生，还是我联系的呢。” 这和当时黄老师讲的一样。而且，黄老师说了他后面三、四任的校长继承人，就有我见到过的这位王校长。这正是刘团长的办事风格。
When I was writing my memoirs, I noticed that in the winter of 1996, which is section 8.3 of the book, when Teacher Huang was talking about Troupe Leader Liu's plan to facilitate the marriage of Eve Liu and me, he helped me to envision my future by mentioning Principal Wang, above, who was a large man and the organization minister of the Shenyang Artillery Academy at the time. When I talked to Principal Wang, he introduced himself by saying, "Back in 1996, I was the Minister of Organization, and I was the one who contacted them when they went to Northeastern University for graduate school." This is the same as what Teacher Huang told me at that time. Moreover, Teacher Huang said that the three or four successors to the principal behind him included this principal Wang whom I had met. This is exactly the way Troupe Leader Liu does things.
（6）
黄老师移民来了加拿大，这就和我过去在前文9.3节 《黑社会帮我打架》经历的怪事对应了。也就是说，那些怪事是黄老师在背后做的。
Teacher Huang immigrated to Canada, which corresponds to the strange things I experienced in the past in the previous section 9.3, " Triads Help Me Fight". In other words, Teacher Huang was behind those strange events.
结论，我就是4.5节《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》中男孩儿组中的一员；在1996年秋，8.2节 《死不瞑目》中，被刘团长最终选中了作为实验中的男孩儿。
Conclusion, I was one of the boys in the boy group in section 4.5 “Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiment”; and in the fall of 1996, in section 8.2 "Death with Eyes Open", was ultimately chosen by Troupe Leader Liu to be the boy in the experiment.
贴主:Adam_Luyan于2023_09_26 22:26:11编辑
坛主:Adam_Luyan于2023_09_26 22:27:38编辑