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包容是最长情的爱

送交者: jayuk[★品衔R5★] 于 2020-09-15 0:20 已读 207 次  

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父母搬到城里跟我一起住有半年多了,和他们在一起生活的时间长了,才发现他们有很多顽固的“陋习”,我对他们的一些做法有点不满​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。


父亲和母亲从饥饿年代走过来,养成了极为节俭的生活习惯​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。那次我买了两块豆腐,母亲说:“用盐腌起来吧,早上就不用炒菜了​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。”我想,早晨时间紧张,这样也行​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。谁知,母亲腌的豆腐太咸了,简直没法吃​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。我有些生气地说:“妈,你干嘛放这么多盐呀?”母亲说:“多放点盐,能多放几天,而且吃起来还省​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。”我一听更生气了,冲母亲嚷起来:“两块豆腐值多少钱,还要省着吃!”


家里温度高,过了两天,母亲腌的豆腐竟然坏了​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。我想,正好利用这个机会“教育”她​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。我对母亲说:“妈,你还说放盐多点能省​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。当初你少放点盐,这豆腐早吃完了​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。瞧,现在不能吃了,不仅没省,还浪费了!”母亲看着坏掉的豆腐,叹口气说:“还是放的盐少,豆腐这东西,不经放​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。”


父亲的习惯跟母亲如出一辙​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。那次他买了一大兜橘子,回到家兴致勃勃地说:“今天的橘子真便宜​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。卖橘子的小贩拉着一车橘子,说赔钱卖,很多人都抢着买,我也抢买了这么多!”我仔细一看,父亲买的橘子不少是坏的,根本不能吃​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。我对他说:“爸,买东西不能光图便宜,俗话说,便宜没好货​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。这些橘子,你觉得是便宜了,把烂的扔掉,还剩多少?这笔账一算,你还买贵了呢!”父亲有些尴尬地说:“天也擦黑了,我没细看​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。”我无奈地笑笑​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。


父母隔三差五就要出现类似的事,我觉得该给他们讲一番道理了​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。一天,我很郑重地跟父母坐在一起,先对他们做的这些事总结了一番“经验教训”,然后我告诉他们,多年的生活习惯该改一改了​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。


我满以为,这样做一定有效果​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。可是,父母好像转头就把我的话当成耳旁风​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。后来,又出现买出芽的土豆、蔫了的蔬菜之类的事​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。我跟老公说起这些事,他说:“老人这么多年形成的生活习惯,早已根深蒂固,想要改变他们难于登天​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。”我苦恼地说:“那怎么办?”他说:“包容!儿女跟父母生活在一起,各方面都不同,肯定会有矛盾​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。我们所能做的就是包容,就像我们小时候,他们包容我们的任性、淘气一样​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。现在轮到我们来包容他们的一些‘坏习惯’​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。”


老公的话让我恍然大悟,的确如此,父母,年纪大了,不可避免会有一些固执​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。小时候我们受到父母的庇护和包容,现在该轮到我们来包容他们​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍​​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍​‍‌‍‌‍‌‍​。

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